Day 6 - Love Is Not Irritable

Sorry for the delay on my Love Dare posts. I got a little frustrated with Nik not telling me the three most irritating things that I do, and we also had a very busy weekend spending lots of time together, so we were naturally thinking about each other and enjoying each other and the girls, so the Love Dare was kind of on a back burner. Anyway, here is what the Love Dare says for Day 6:

"Love Is Not Irritable"

He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city. - Proverbs 16:32

Today's Dare:

Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations you need to release from your life.

Things to Ponder:

Where do you need to add margin to your life? When have you recently overreacted? What was your real motivation behind it?

This is where I have a lot of issues with Nik in our marriage. I know I have recently overreacted about something he wanted to purchase that was not a necessity, while I could easily justify my own purchase. I can definitely be irritable, mostly because I tend to see myself as always right and as "wiser" than my husband, and he is also often irritable, and we tend to irritate each other just by being irritable ourselves. It's a bad cycle! The Love Dare goes on to talk about the meaning of "irritable" as "being near the point of a knife". The things that cause irritability are things that all adults, and especially married couples, deal with on a daily basis: stress (which we many times place on ourselves by overspending, overworking, or overindulging, or by not getting enough rest, nutrition, or exercise), and selfishness. Selfishness is a huge recurring theme in The Love Dare, and it's definitely the hardest part. I feel like Nik and I try really hard to not cause ourselves stress, but in reality, we definitely could do a much better job about saving/spending money more wisely, and neither of us get anywhere close to enough exercise. We are both also very selfish. I know that I tend to blame Nik for a lot of our stresses, especially when it comes to money, and he blames me, because it is much easier to blame the other than to accept the blame. The fact that we are both easily angered probably points to our own insecurities and selfishness. And, as the book states, selfishness comes in many different forms: lust (not just for a person, but often for others' belongings), greed, pride (putting your own ego or reputation first), bitterness (this is a BIG one for me)...and none of these things are ever fulfilled. We all have heard of people having all the money and belongings in the world, and still not being happy. Nik and I definitely need to quit constantly wanting so many things, and realize that God has provided us with everything we need -- and then some!

By choosing to LOVE when faced with these other stressors/selfish tendencies, we can ameliorate the problem -- of course, that is much easier said than done. Love will always prioritize family and their happiness over our own wants, love is showing true happiness for another's successes instead of being envious, and love is content with what we have instead of creating debt by trying to obtain things we can't really afford.

I doubt that Nik and I will encounter a "tough circumstance" today since we don't have money issues right this second (this may be a different post in a few weeks or so!), but I will continue to not only not say negative things to Nik today, but to also react to any arguments or disagreements with patience and love instead of just blame and anger.